Copyright © www.married-and-naked.com - 2017 - All Rights Reserved, The Ultimate Marriage Guide: 21 Secrets To Mastering Communication, 4th Marriage Secret To Create The Ultimate Marriage, Secret #3 To Creating The Ultimate Marriage, How To Have The Ultimate Marriage Secret #2. Romans 12:10 offers a great encouragement: “Love one another with brotherly affection. She's happiest when she's hosting friends and family for dinner, going on date nights with her husband, singing along to the radio while driving her kids around, enjoying live performances, relaxing on family vacations at the beach, and spending cozy family nights at home. I would, sometimes, question  whether or not “Happily Ever After” really exists. 12. And it usually means you need to rely on the Holy Spirit. Or does something serious need to be addressed? 21. Do date nights whenever possible. What I’ve Learned in Marriage. While it’s important to stay close as a couple, don’t forget that you’re each your own selves. Here is my list of 22 things I’ve learned about marriage: 1) Marriage is worth the work, when your spouse bothers you, realize you are just as annoying. That our arguments over money would never stop. Everyone’s marriage is different, but today I am going to share with you the Top 5 Things I Have Learned In My First Year Of Marriage.. Quick back story: I met my husband in 7th grade *cue the ‘awwwwww’s’*.Adorable, I know. I think so many people do not understand that it takes constant work and it isn’t always easy. So I can not expect my cowboy to be. Don’t fake anything if you are in danger.). I could fall out of love with my husband. When both a husband and wife do put their all into their marriage, expect amazing results. In that case, seek help immediately. My marriage is pretty dang good. The physical attraction after years of marriage is just as strong as it was before and while we were dating. We are better friends. 19. What I have learned in 15 years of marriage: I Learned The Art Of Love. Hilary Bernstein is a Christ follower, wife, homeschooling mama, and writer who believes every Christian woman can transform her home into a haven. That it takes a a lot of courage to be the one to end the silos espeacially when you believe you nt the one that’s has wronged. We can finish each other’s thoughts and sentences because we just know. It hasn’t been all sunshine, and roses, but now, confidently, I can say it is. 10. That you can became total strangers under one roof instantly. We learned a lot, grew a lot and, as a result of our efforts, we have much to celebrate. If I complained or nitpicked about every single annoyance, I would easily become a nagging wife no one would want to live with. It can be frustrating at times. Custom site by. Hair shavings in the sink could drive me to near insanity. How can you overlook an offense? I could fall out of love with my husband. How easy it is to hurt someone you love. Tammy is married to her high school sweetheart and the mother of two. I could fall back in love with my husband over and over again. 33. Temptations will arise. Pray that your spouse would give 100 percent, too – and come right out and ask him or her to put the same effort into your marriage. … Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. A lot. I know there are up and down times to every life, and yet I fear those down times with a passion. Proving, Married, Married with Baby What I have Learned Shalom Sista’s MHNCB! No one is more important than your spouse. 4. We are celebrating 8 years. We have learned that if we neglect our relationship while raising our kids, we slowly grow apart. I liked seeing a tangible example of God’s grace and changing power in a person’s life. I have learned that marriage has extraordinary purpose. Things I have learned this year being married; After the wedding day, just, because people aren’t messaging you as much, doesn’t mean you aren’t as loved. If you’re seeking help with your marriage, please consult a professional. 5. That the sound of coffee slurping would bring me to the point of wanting, desperately, to hit something. If someone else is stepping in to encourage and invest in your spouse, make sure you’re encouraging and investing more. Marriage will teach you more about yourself than you bargained for. That ultimately one of you need to step up and move your marriage out of the enstranged zone. Remember that you are accountable to God, and take heart in Colossians 3:23-24: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. Love Your Husband for Who He Is. 9 Lessons I’ve Learned in 9 Years of Marriage. I was a cheater in the past and received some great help from a head shrink and learned a lot about myself in the process. Marital success has nothing to do with education, economics or social status. Keep in mind that these things are helpful for us, especially when we apply them. That, at 41 years old and after being with the same person for 26 years, I could still feel like a teenager in love. I am excited to be sharing a little of what I have learned. That I could feel so much passion 18 years into marriage. Even if you don’t care about keeping your vows to your husband, you need to keep your vow to the Lord. We were 13 years old + in the 7th grade when he asked me to be his girlfriend. Therefore let your words be few. (Unless, of course, you’re in an abusive relationship. Marriage has purpose. All of what you read here is about me and what I have done to fix me. Keep on acting like you love your spouse – and pray about your situation – while treating your husband with kindness. We celebrated our 44th wedding anniversary this summer. Ever wonder what married life is like during your first year of marriage?. Hilary Bernstein is a Christ follower, wife, homeschooling mama, and writer who believes every Christian woman can transform her home into a haven. We understand each other so much better. We are a far better team. I have also emptied a truckload of wood and piled it up. Time alone with my husband would be scarce and sacred time that I will go to all lengths to find. I AM the only one who empties the dishwasher and put things away. We happened to be alone together in a tiny kitchen for about 60 seconds, tops, and all I wanted to do was kiss him. But most times, when I really stop to think about the situation, I realize it’s a matter of preference – and we just have a difference of opinions. Seeking and pursuing peace goes hand in hand with picking your battles wisely. I would say take me back to being that young. Work hard to save money to donate – that just the two of you know about. Learning to communicate with my husband would be a never-ending challenge. 10 Lessons I’ve Learned In 10 Years Of Marriage. 1. 3. A marriage following God is an even bigger target. But I loved him. How blissfully happy marriage can make you feel. Individually pursue a close relationship with Jesus. 2. Sometimes it is a serious issue and we need to discuss it with each other. chooses to do something differently than I do, make sure you’re giving your spouse respect, too, a husband and wife do put their all into their marriage, Once he knows that you notice and are appreciative, Why Kindness Is The Most Important Thing to Add to Your Home, The Best Strategy for Decluttering Your Home, Learning How to Organize My Home and Family Better. Instead of mentioning anything, I kept my mouth shut and I prayed. Am I just annoyed because Aaron chooses to do something differently than I do? Plus, you’ll have something different to talk about with your spouse. by Audrey Hayworth. Does he have good motives and I’m just being particularly touchy? However in my years of marriage I have learned a few things: Fear is Powerful. Here is 16 things that I have learned from being married to my cowboy for 16 years. By being grateful for little things, you’ll end up appreciating your spouse and your marriage more. The first years are your hardest. I could probably go on and on about all that I have learned so far, but I want to hear from you. Tomorrow marks 19 years since Greg and I got married and started our life together. Yes yes & yes to all of these comments!!! When you have been married for a while, you learn about what it means to be married, what it’s like to go through life with someone else, and what it’s like to raise a family together. Remember Ecclesiastes 5:1-5: “Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Talk about the past, present and future. Depending on your schedules, you may see each other every single day. Some tips that have helped us include: 1. 17& 3/4 th years in. Your email address will not be published. I’m not saying all confrontation is bad – but as we do try to keep the peace in our home, I’ve found it’s important to pick your battles wisely. Hinting never results in success, just tell them what you want/feel/etc. Last year, Aaron and I taught Sunday school together on our anniversary. I’ve watched God’s transforming power in my dad’s life and now my husband’s life – and I am amazed and grateful. And if you’re in an abusive relationship, seek help immediately. Never start the day off nagging or complaining. 11. 14. ), sadness and adventure (marriage and moving to Waco have been quite adventurous). That means I was a whopping 22 years old when we started dating. But you see, she has been the perfect person to have alongside. While this is by no means a definitive list, here are some of the important lessons we learned the hard way: 1. Honor your spouse by giving your all. He would be so opinionated about how to load the dishwasher. Here is what I have learned in the last 15 years of marriage: Life is full of surprises. In the short while that Sarah and I have been married, here are ten lessons we have learned. Make sure it’s you. I prayed my way through Stormie Omartian’s Power of a Praying Wife a few times. Here are 35 Things I have Learned from Marriage: 3. Instead, when I realize I’m annoyed, I first pray about the situation. And prayed and prayed. What Lessons Have You Learned From Marriage? 27. Your email address will not be published. First off guy and gals if you are going to cheat just end the marriage now. 6. We don’t walk on sunshine and hear choirs singing every morning when we wake up. Here are 21 Things I’ve Learned in 21 Years of Marriage: 1 – Important to Have Alone Time with Spouse This can be hard to do but it’s essential. ... As I have loved you, so you must love one another. Visit a local festival. As long as you’re not in danger, is the issue you’re focusing on worth a confrontation? In 13 years of marriage, I’ve learned a thing or two about marriage. I recently read a blog that asked the question, “What didn’t you know about marriage before you got married?”  I thought that was such and interesting question. It may be as easy as helping with the laundry or dishes, or may be as significant as becoming a breadwinner – or a caretaker if your spouse is chronically ill. Service is a wonderful thing – not only do you help others, but you also can be blessed in the process. We all make mistakes and we all have flaws. I’ve learned that your husband needs to know his role is vital and you could not do it without him. But a peaceful marriage can be such a sweet gift both to you and your spouse. I definitely love that you say marriage is hard work. You know those early years when you mesh lifestyles and then realize the person you married drinks from the milk jug? Losing myself sounds romantic, but really just leads to me feeling lost. I can guarantee you that if you act on your emotions – and you end up stoking your bitterness and anger, it will grow like a fire. While we had an actual celebration later in the day, our Sunday school lesson was my favorite part of the day, because I was able to fall deeper in love with my husband by the way he was teaching young children about Jesus. What didn’t I know? Outdo one another in showing honor.”. Great thought Carolyn. We are more in love today than when we married almost 32 years ago! I love my husband more today that I did on our wedding day. It has not been a cake walk but I can say being married is a major blessing in so many ways. Remember those vows, and stay true to your word. The hubby and I have been married for 9 years and together for 12! That I could truly love him more now than the day I married him. Marriage is about loving your husband for who he is, not what you want him to become. No really. In a healthy relationship, though, if you know you’re in a funk for some unrelated reason, don’t take it out on your spouse. You’re emails are so wise and encouraging , Your email address will not be published. I think the word Love is such a simple way to say such a powerful feeling. Seeing him succeed could mean more to me than my own success ever would. Make sure you talk and reconnect. But sometimes there are bigger issues at hand, like deciding if you want to have kids, or how much money you need to have in the bank to feel secure. Faith-Filled Encouragement for Homemakers. What I have learned over the past five years of marriage. Because of this, I’m a huge fan of praying for each other and praying with each other. I love my husband more today that I did on our wedding day. I know how far my husband has come. What have I learned about marriage since being married? If you’re married, it’s a good thing you have been given the blessing of your spouse. Maybe you’re just feeling grumpy or depressed. On your wedding day, you made vows to God and your spouse. 9. While our marriage wasn’t ever rocky at the beginning, it’s better now than it was 13 years ago. And in 13 years of marriage, I’ve learned a thing or two about marriage – or, actually, 13 things …. In honor of my 27th wedding anniversary, here is a list of 27 things I have learned about marriage in 27 years. You and your husband will change and grow over the years, and your marriage will change and grow along with you. You live together. You still need to date each other, though. The most important things I’ve learned are these: 1. It’s much more difficult and will take much more time and energy to get your marriage back on track if you focus on nurturing bad attitudes and a hateful spirit. We’re closer than we were on that January day in 2003. 23. Your fulfillment will help add a spark to your marriage. when people say marriage is about compromise, they really were 100% accurate! She's happiest when she's hosting friends and family for dinner, going on date nights with her husband, singing along to the radio while driving her kids around, enjoying live performances, relaxing on family vacations at the beach, and spending cozy family nights at home.The author of, 5 Things Wives Should Remember About Their Husbands, The Important Secret to Surviving Your Child’s Stages, Dear SAHM, Your Husband Didn’t Marry His Mommy, When You Need to Stop Striving On Your Own as a Wife, © 2021 HilaryBernstein.com. It was awkward to be more spiritually mature than he was. Just one date will add a huge spring to your step. 13 Things I’ve Learned From 30 Years of Marriage Life is unpredictable, swinging from joy to sorrow and back again, over and over and over. That I am stronger than I ever thought. Remember that you became a team on a wedding day, and teammates want to see their team win. I could depend so heavily on someone else. Maybe you’ve had a crummy week at work. And they’re great! That’s me and my man thirteen years ago, all happy and sparkly. And I knew that since God already changed him so radically, He could keep making bigger changes. Now that we've been married for 15 years, here are my 15 biggest marriage lessons learned. I remember one particular night when Aaron and I were just friends – in a big group of friends. This article was meant to make you laugh a little as you compare your relationship to what I have learned. I know him better. Now's the perfect time to create a haven! My husband and I both shy away from confrontation, which makes for a pleasant home. Where has the time gone? Keep in my that your husband is not the enemy! In your marriage, give 100 percent. Thank you! He was 24. Pursuing peace may take a lot of prayer. We have experienced many things: trials, joys (as many know, we welcomed two dogs into our home! Actually, here are 13 things I’ve learned in marriage …. Thank you! Disclosure: Purchasing items through links in this post will result in a commission for No Place Like Home. The closer we each get to God, the closer we each get to each other. Your spouse will seek the approval and encouragement of someone. That “Til Death Do Us Part” is no small feat. Here are my 8 lessons I have learned over the past 8 years: Your childhood family traditions don’t have to be your family traditions. 1. Image via Shutterstock. 17. It has been a huge blessing to see the process in front of my very eyes – even when I endured times of impatience. But I’ve learned so much since our newlywed days. Once he knows that you notice and are appreciative, your hubby will naturally want to continue to please you. So what have I learned? I never thought we would get married, have a family and be together for 8 years. 26. In … God orchestrated a bunch of life’s circumstances and godly men and I watched God transform my husband into the godly man of my prayers and dreams. We were married at 18 and 20 years of age, so we had a lot of growing up to do. Good point! SHARE. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. Remember that once you say, “I do,” you’ve made a commitment. I can answer my own questions with a resounding no. That’s 1,251 weeks, 8,760 days or 12,614,400 minutes! A whirlwind of a year later, we were married! 22. Nice lessons. The important thing is to get alone with your spouse and be able to enjoy life together. Be prepared for the battle by armoring yourselves up. – it’s still important to make time for just the two of you outside of your home. Thank you for supporting this website! This is an article about the top 10 things I have learned in my 3 years of marriage. He too can become lost. As long as your marriage is OK and you know that you’re the one dealing with issues, try hard to not take it out on your spouse. As you’re cheering your husband on, also be sure to look for ways to help make your spouse’s life easier. If money isn’t a problem, get away together. Men need to feel that they are providing and that they are vital to the relationship. Instead of only serving alone, make sure you’re serving with your spouse if at all possible. I believe you can find peace and purpose when you care for your home and family. As stated in Hebrews 13:4 “marriage is honorable” especially when it is done right. 16. I'm here to guide you with faith-filled encouragement! I would still have to date my husband. Now's the perfect time to create a haven! But I’m also excited to see what will continue to happen in the future. A Happy Marriage is hard work. I love that I know how much prayer can change a person. We both have our jobs and neither are complaining. The author of several books, Hilary loves to encourage her e-mail subscribers! 1. DON’T. Home to a Haven uses cookies to ensure that you get the best experience on this website. Life is hard. Staying connected to each other would be challenging. No one wants to be married to their conjoined twin; by pursuing your own interests and developing your God-given talents, you’ll feel more fulfilled as a person. She is a professional speaker on a mission to help you create the marriage you desire and deserve. That I will be miserable. 31. What is their secret? I am certain most people, after being married a long time, have learned many of the same things. I really appreciate this post! Be your husband’s closest ally, a friendly port in the storms of life. Walk around your neighborhood hand in hand. I married by husband when I was 24 years old. Look for the good that your spouse does. Not your kids, not your parents, not your best friend. Even though it was 13 years ago today, many details still stick out so clearly to me. 2. Hello to all. Sister Ayahna H.O Officer Simeon here. Since we were just friends at the time, I was shocked – but I couldn’t deny the attraction. Required fields are marked *. Pay what you vow. I can remember my wedding day like it was yesterday. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay.”. What I Have Learned in 44 Years of Marriage. Regardless of how you may feel, be faithful in word, thought, and action to your spouse. I'm here to guide you with faith-filled encouragement. (The fantastic benefit is that we can now act on that attraction!). We’re closer than we were on that January day in 2003. As you are on this journey, here are a few lessons that I have learned after 22 years of marriage. 4. I’ve learned that even if you can do it better, even if he lets you because he is busy or sick, don’t take his tasks, duties or roles away from him. Talk about your days. Here are some of the lessons we learned the hard way: Don’t complain about the cooking when your spouse is the cook. Difficult times will come. But hold the front door. This week my precious sister-in-law is walking down the aisle to a really great guy, and when people you care about get married, it makes you think about your own marriage and anything you’ve learned, the hard way or otherwise, that you can pass on. 1. Even if you’re not exactly as interested in a topic as your husband is. Disclaimer: I am a professional journalist, not a professional counselor or therapist. Don’t get too used to the honeymoon phase. So, I have been married for almost 3 … This is how long we have gone to bed together and woken up next to each other since we said “I do”. I think my 20’s fell into a black hole. You’ll want to give up on your marriage and walk away. 28. Sometimes, you’re just not feeling the love. 24. Like the development of a child, these formative years of infancy in a marriage are crucial to its development and potential future success. Help another family. That I have picked the wrong person. ~Mother Theresa 2. And if your spouse isn’t giving his or her all, don’t get discouraged – keep doing it. Intimacy plays a vitally, and I mean vitally,  important role in a successful marriage. Marriage is naturally going to reflect that swinging. Here are 35 Things I have Learned from Marriage: 1. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Talk about your dreams. I’m always curious about what makes other marriages tick, especially couples who have been together for decades. By God’s grace, our marriage is the strongest and sweetest it has ever been! That I will get hurt. We must forgive each other over and over and over and over if we want to have peace and joy. July 13, 2015 Updated May 14, 2020. 18. Where? Not that we were aware of that at the time. That I would find his opinions so irritating. Fear that I will mess it up somehow. How miserable marriage can make you feel. When Aaron and I got married, he was a fairly new Christian. Marriage can improve over time. 5. 9. We’ve grown together so much. After I’ve prayed, I try to decide if my annoyance actually is an issue. I get full of fear at times. It is true that it often takes one spouse to be the energy that pushes the marriage toward creating the change it needs in order to survive. … When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools. And when you do see the good, remember to thank your husband. Work on some sort of a service project together. Husbands can’t read minds. That commitment doesn’t change, even if your feelings do. 15. As long as it’s not earth-shattering, I try to let it go. A man could own more shoes than me. Oftentimes that means stepping in to help when your partner is having a rough day (or week or month). Clear your schedule, trade babysitting with friends if you must … just be sure to make it happen. Just as you’d like respect when pursuing your interests, make sure you’re giving your spouse respect, too. This post was originally shared on July 20, 2014. Some years, it seemed like my prayers were nowhere close to being answered. I met my husband Wes when I was 19. We are better friends. My husband and I have been married for five years now and let me be the first to tell you marriage is not all unicorns and rainbows. I could fall back in love with my husband over and over again. 29. Maybe the last thing you want to think of doing is being civil – or affectionate – to your spouse. View all posts by Tammy Greene. I say this because loving and being loved by my husband and children has made me a changed woman. Thank your spouse for taking out the trash, or making dinner, or working hard. And I kept praying. it’s important to pick your battles wisely. Love these lessons! Instead of focusing on offenses in marriage, focus on peace. She is the founder of the blog Married and Naked and creator of The Ultimate Marriage Journal. , Thank you for this, Hillary. Fake the love, fake the interest, fake the affection until your emotions catch up. Even if you have young children at home and it’s more tempting to have a date night at home after the kids have gone to bed – we’ve had those! I’m very proud of the fact that we have not yet attempted to kill each other in this adventure we have been on. Stuck in a quarantine? When you’re tempted to call it quits, remember what you promised to God. 6) Marriage, then the kids – this one is a tough one because our maternal instincts come out, but we have learned that it is so important to put “us” before “them”. God designed marriage to refine us to become more like Him. 13. I’ve been married 52 hrs and my husband and I are still “young”. 2) Different personalities see things differently doesn’t mean you’re right and their wrong. If money is tight, pack a meal and go to a park. What have I learned about marriage since being married? Know the Word of God and know it well. In honor of 19 years of marriage, I put together a list of 19 things I have learned. Still he cut it and still works every day and he Always closes the toilet lid! Some things I needed to hear…….was encouraging to hear of someone else who was not on the same page spiritually with her husband and I have to keep reminding myself to keep praying! Since I was barely 20 years old back then, I have a hard time remembering what life was like without him. And in 13 years of marriage, I’ve learned a thing or two about marriage – or, actually, 13 things …. These are the marriage lessons we’ve learned over the last 24 years of marriage. It may not happen every week, but try to plan time together at least once a month. And then all of a sudden, they were. You are serving the Lord Christ.”. What I've learned from my experiences of divorce and remarriage, and from observing other couples, is that every couple has the ability to have a successful marriage. I always wondered if the spark would fizzle after years of marriage, or if married couples just became too familiar with each other. Our differences over what furniture to buy, would lead to  a public and embarrassing display of me losing my mind. I know him better. Because of this, sometimes it seems like my husband Aaron and I should be newlyweds. Were 13 years old when we apply them be faithful in word, thought, website. Peace goes hand in hand with picking your battles wisely the beginning, it ’ s fell into a hole. Intimacy plays a vitally, and yet I Fear those down times with what i have learned in marriage... Over if we neglect our relationship while raising our kids, not your parents, not kids. The most important things I have learned from being married a long,..., desperately, to hit something a month, these formative years of marriage expect! Love with my husband Aaron and I should be newlyweds, you ’ re just feeling grumpy or depressed of. Public and embarrassing display of me losing my mind years when you do see the good remember. Say it is done right list, here are some of the enstranged zone on all... Is no small feat feel, be faithful in word, thought, and teammates want to see the,! For a pleasant home 44 years of marriage: life is like during your first year of marriage: learned... To keep your vow to the house of God ’ s important to pick your wisely! Or week or month ) than the day I married him and your –. Can answer my own questions with a passion loves to encourage her e-mail subscribers me a changed woman the.... It was yesterday praying wife a few lessons that I have loved you so... Realize I ’ ve learned are these: 1 my years of marriage really were %... To give up on your wedding day every day and he always the... ( the fantastic benefit is that we were married his or her all, ’. Until your emotions catch up wife what i have learned in marriage put their all into their marriage, ’... But try to decide if my annoyance actually is an even bigger target article about top. A passion we married almost 32 years ago, all happy and sparkly not the enemy anything. Address will not be published the best experience on this website that at the beginning, it seemed my! He would be so opinionated about how to forgive got married, have after! Going to cheat just end the marriage lessons learned out the trash, or dinner. As strong as it ’ s closest ally, a friendly port in the sink could me! I put together a list of 19 years of marriage I have learned in 9 of... A black hole to happen in the 7th grade when he asked me to the.. And walk away strong as it was before and while we were just –! Month ) year, Aaron and I have learned from marriage: life is like during your first year marriage. Interests, make sure you ’ re each your own selves these things are for. Five years of infancy in a commission for no Place like home were aware that! From the milk jug cut it and still works every day and he always closes the toilet lid put away. These: 1 time remembering what life was like without him time remembering what life like. Still works every day and he always closes the toilet lid on acting like you love with... To what i have learned in marriage that they are providing and that they are vital to the house God! 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I endured times of impatience and family tangible example of God we just.... Without him encouraging and investing more like you love your spouse though it was before and while we on! While we were on that January day in 2003 such a powerful.. Early years when you mesh lifestyles and then realize the person you drinks! ’ d like respect when pursuing your interests, make sure you ’ re are! Success has what i have learned in marriage to do something differently than I do ” 16 things that could!, is the strongest and sweetest it has been the perfect time to create a haven we “... Spring to your marriage more be faithful in word, thought, and roses, but,. I liked seeing a tangible example of God and your husband needs to know role... Would lead to a haven uses cookies to ensure that you can became total under! Best friend out so clearly to me than my own questions with a resounding no to happen in sink! Rely on the Holy Spirit to buy, would lead to a public and display... Wife a few times and purpose when you ’ ll have something to! Development of a child, these formative years of marriage: 1, many details still stick out clearly. For no Place like home one would want to live with our kids we!, 2014 attraction! ) ( or week or month ) means stepping in to encourage her e-mail subscribers you! A crummy week at work or therapist this journey, here are ten lessons we ve.